Giving Up Control

I am always wary the first time I take a ride in anyone else's car. When I drive, I am in control and know exactly what to expect; when someone else drives, there's no telling what will happen. It takes a great deal of faith to trust that this person, who at any moment might speed around sharp corners at 70 MPH and ignore the "NO TURN ON RED" signs, will get us safely to our destination.

Driving can be stressful, however; though I enjoy the independence of being able to drive wherever I want, I often prefer to be the passenger... if I trust the driver.

Assuming I don't have to worry about the driver slamming on the breaks at the last minute and getting hopelessly lost, being a passenger is a relaxing way to travel. Because my attention isn't focused on controlling the vehicle, I am free to unwind, take in the scenery, take a nap, or just have some quiet time to think. Even when the situation is stressful--I have to rush to the hospital or I'm headed to school for a scary exam--there's a measure of comfort in knowing that someone else is making my struggle easier by taking away the pressure of driving.

In the same way, I like to have control over my own life. I feel much more comfortable when I'm making my own plans and plotting out my own future. The only trouble is that I've reached a point in my life where I'm driving through a thick fog on unfamiliar roads. The pedals aren't responding the way they used to, and the instruments on my dashboard don't make sense to me anymore. I no longer trust myself to drive.

Some time ago in church I received a printed prayer that has ended up being incredibly valuable in this challenging time. I do not know the author of the prayer, but its message is one that has truly resonated with me. After several months of praying this prayer on a regular basis, it continues to refresh me, and I continue to find new meaning in it. Allow me to share this prayer with you:

Abba, I surrender my will and my life to you today,
without reservation and with humble confidence,
for you are my loving Father.

Set me free from self-consciousness,
from anxiety about tomorrow,
and from the tyranny of the approval and disapproval of others,
that I may find joy and delight simply and solely in pleasing you.

May my inner freedom be a compelling sign of your presence,
your peace, your power, and your love.

Let your plan for my life gracefully unfold one day at a time.

I love you with all my heart, and I place all my confidence in you, for you are my Abba. Jesus, I trust you.